Out of Hybernation

There is finally a break from all the rain! Sunshine is here and in a pleasant amount! (Generally, in the Central Valley of California it’s either one extreme of wet and cold to the other of triple number degree temperatures.) I have been waiting for spring to finally, well, spring up from the earth. I always find when the temperature gets cold I always find reasons to have the blues, even if it is from external forces that are out of my control. Spring means school is almost over, I can wear flip flops and run more. Even better it means that summer is almost here! But I am not mentally or physically prepared for heatwaves that feel like they last from infinity.

As March is winding to an and it felt like it wasn’t quite my month. I was very busy with school, and I ignored the things that I want to manifest into my life or some things I should do to take care of myself. Not a single panic attack and I never stopped hustling.

Some of the biggest things I’ve wanted to manifest into my life include:

  • New blog logo- I want to create a logo that goes at the top of my website for the tab and a logo that represents me and I can put on everything.
  • Lions- Follow up post on the reasoning for Lions next week, follow to hear about it when it goes up.
  • Plants- It’s spring! I want more plants, and I want to work hard not to kill them.
  • Better outfits- Because California has been in a drought since I was a baby child my wardrobe is mainly equipped with warmer climates. Despite how much I love my sweater that I wear every single day of my life, I want to change things up now that it’s warmer to boost my confidence a bit.
  • My driver’s test!- I forgot to study a lot this month for it.
  • Acoustic electric guitar- I’ve wanted one for a half a year now and my playing has gotten much better.

Since we’re talking about playing guitar. I’ve been playing for three years. I am a pretty solid rhythm guitarist. I want to get better at playing lead electric guitar solos and improvising. But now, I am playing acoustic guitar at my church every month. I play three songs and strictly rhythm. I can sing, but I can’t carry a tune in a bucket in the keys that the church plays in (G and B).

I have three guitars now, two electric and one acoustic. My electric’s name is Jay Fender, he is a Fender Stratocaster, the new electric guitar was given to me by my boyfriend that plays blacksaphone and got this guitar when he was a kid. He no desires to learn guitar so this is the newest member of our family. His name is Tiny Tim, being that he is a Stratocaster Mini. Finally, my very first guitar is a red acoustic Jhonson guitar, his name is Martin. I can’t use Martin on stage because he’s not electric, and he’s getting too small being that I got him 5 years ago when I was small.

This month for me has been an amazing transition from all the problems I was having to kicking ass. If you would like to hear me play guitar, or just hear more about guitar let me know in the comments. As I am coming out of hibernation I will continue to learn and make myself better, as well as take care of myself and do some things to make myself happy. I hope you all will do the same and continue to grow into some amazing human beings.

-Issie

 

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It’s Hard to Write.

1/12/18

It’s hard to write. But it’s all I want to do. I just want to type and tell my story, but the words won’t come out, or they do but in the most absurd format. I don’t know if I’m okay. I thought I was, but I really don’t know.

School is hard, and my boyfriend and I broke up. As stupid as it may seem I cared a lot for him. He’s still in my life, but it’s hard to love him in a different way now. It’s hard, it’s all just hard. I refuse to let myself cry, I am too busy to do that. Now that I actually have time to cry, I don’t. I want to, it would be easier, but I can’t. My mind is racing with so much, I don’t know how to get it all out. I’ve written in so many pages in so many notebooks. I’ve tried talking to my friends, but nobody can make me feel better. I always used to depend on myself anyways. But after five months with him, I wanted to talk to somebody.

I don’t know what to write about, but I know I want to write. Writing is my best friend that is always there for me, and those pages never tell my secrets.

I’m nervous to go to school, last week that’s when we broke up my anxiety was acting up really bad. I’m worried it will tomorrow too.

I don’t know.

But it’s not like everything is bad. I’m now officially a part of the church band. They were playing music today, and they said they wished they had another guitarist, and I said I could play both rhythm and lead. So, now I’m playing once a month. I’ve been playing for three years, and now I can play almost any song I want.

Guitar is kind of like writing. It’s a war of expression.

Ooh, another thing I’ve gotten totally into now is yoga. I got a new matt. I’ll talk more about it in another post, but it’s so good.

Speaking of stuff I’m going to talk about latter, Fall Out Boy released their new M A N I A album. It’s really good, they’ve definitely got a bit of a different tone, but they are still staying completely true to themselves as a band, and their sound.

I also finally finished binge watching the TV show Friends, I love it.

You know what, I know I’m rambling about somethings stupid, but it feels good to write about it. I feel better. I don’t know if that’s just temporary, or not but I feel better, and that’s a step in the right direction.

It’s also super comforting knowing that even though I’m doing this by myself, I am not completely because God is on my side. The night that we broke up, I was goalie for my soccer team. I was by myself on our side of the field. The ball was on the other side, about to be played. I was just talking to myself, and picking at the grass. There’s really not much else to do when the ball is on the other side of the field. I am team captain, and we could have beaten this team if we wanted it. We lost, we didn’t want it. But while I was talking to myself I was praying out loud. That’s how I pray. I pace around and talk to myself, but in my mind I’m ranting or talking to an old friend. I told him, I gave myself, everything I had to Him. I told Him that I wanted to win the game, but I trusted in His plan.

We broke up.  It was for a mutual reason, but it’s still hard. But I told God I trusted him, so I have to continue to trust. My boyfriend wasn’t a Christian, and long term, I wouldn’t want to marry someone who wasn’t. But maybe, God will bring him closer. Because I truly believe in the power of God, because it has changed my life. And you may doubt me, but things have to break before they get better.

I normally don’t like to share stuff like this with the internet, but It’s not like there’s much to tell. Besides, this isn’t anything I don’t feel comfortable sharing. But I seriously feel a lot better after writing this, and knowing that somebody is reading, and maybe feeling better because they’re going through something too. That’s why I’m posting this on Monday and not Friday. Maybe a little something to help you through your week.

So yeah, to everyone who actually read all the way through, thanks for reading, take care of yourself, and have a wonderful life.

-Issie

Music Monday #6

Imagine Dragons: Evolve

Hello people of the internet. It’s been awhile since I’ve had a nice rant about some good music. Now I know this album was released over the summer but I think I’m finally ready to review this album.

Imagine Dragons dished out 10 unique songs on their album. They definitely have more of a unique remixed sound (as usual) while also giving the taste of some pretty good guitar solos.

Each song has it’s own theme, and the lyrics are actually pretty good, but even just listening to progressions in the song makes me even more motivated and focused.

My top three songs:

  1. “Walking the Wire”- This song has a nice subtle intro, and I like the uplifting chorus. It’s very calming and motivating to me and definitely one to check out.
  2. “Whatever It Takes”- I absolutely love this song! It’s very modavating, and such a cool song. Wow I’m so bad with words, why do I have a blog? But honestly though there’s something “Whip whip run me like a race horse, pull me like a rip cord.” every time I hear it that makes me feel like a badass, and there’s nothing better than that feeling.
  3. “Dancing in the Dark”- This song is so autotuned, bud it doesn’t matter. It’s so peaceful, and to put on noise canceling headphones and work while listening to this song is amazing. It honestly calms my anxiety and my mind and that’s why I really love this song.

Honorable mentions:

  • “I don’t know why”
  • “Believer”
  • “Rise up”

I love Imagine Dragons, and I absolutely love their new album. I honestly like it MUCH more than Smoke and Mirrors. I hope you enjoy it.

If you find me to leave like, and subscribe for more.

-Issie

My Life Monday #11

HELLO PEOPLE OF THE INTERNET

That was fun. Imagine me yelling. I love to yell.

Anyways… let’s get down to business. *trying so hard not to make the Disney reference*

Anxiety. We all have it. That’s what this post is about. Some have it worse than others, but it is indeed inside all of us. Mine came out of me during high school. It was bad freshman year, and it’s the reason why I never look forward to school and I need a ‘safety person’ if I’m going to be in big crowds. I start to shake, my mind starts racing, my body overreacts and I start to cry. That’s how my body reacts and when I’m alone and my body is starting to do all the signs I know I got to get away, I got to get away from people as fast as possible. Nobody can see this. This also occurs when I am under huge amounts of stress, which means I undergo this at least once a week.

Some people experience this so badly they have no more control over their body, I understand that, but I never feel it as bady as that.

When I go through this I have to be alone. I go into the band room closet, lock the door, put in my ear buds, and play my guitar. I need my time alone, and at this point my friends understand and they go through the motions with me. Because it’s okay to be alone.

I spend my time alone, but then the next day I come back to my friends. We go back to the usual hanging out at lunch. But every now and then when I don’t feel okay or I start to cry in the closet having a hug from Victor never kills. What I’m trying to say is that it’s okay be alone sometimes, but you can’t spend your entire life alone. If your friends don’t lift you up, and they don’t help you when your brain gets too out of control you might need some new people in your life. But don’t spend the rest of your life alone high school can actually be a great experience, but if you lock yourself in the closet the whole time nothing will ever be fun, and anxiety will take over your life. Don’t let it do that to you, you have a good life, so live it, and it is okay to talk to people about these things. In fact the right friends will always help you in these situations. But don’t spend all of high school mourning in a closet, and talk to someone about it hearing another voice than one that’s coming from your brain makes all the difference.

And another thing. It’s okay to feel sad for no reason. I tend to and I don’t even know why. But you can’t let any depression like that eat you up because then you can’t enjoy all the beauty that life has to offer. Personally in high school you need to find the people you love, and you need to find the thing you love. For me its Cross Country and Band… or Guitar. Cross Country is a lot of pain but it gets everything off my mind, besides our team is like family. A love hate relationship with running really bonds people together, heck, we even went out for breakfast last Friday before school. Band is also the light of my high school life. They play at the varsity football game, so we all hang out during the JV game. Mrs. Cassidy’s office is like home. We sit around watching Netflix laying out on her couch eating pizza pockets. It’s literally home. Which makes sense because Mrs. Cassidy is Band Mom as we call her. I’m not technically in band, but I’m in band as the honorary member as me and my friends call it. Band makes me feel at home and we live by our on rules, and finding a place, or even those people in your high school makes everything better, and it makes any problems fade away.

High school has so many positives although teenagers are stupid. But just like everything else in life you get out of it what you put into it, and you can make it a good experience if you choose to make it one. And step one to making it a good experience is by slaying your dragons by yourself.

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High school so far: Blackout Dance, Comic Con with my friends, White Out/First Home Football Game with the band, My First 5k

Life is an amazing thing.

-Issie

Music Monday #5

How to survive high school: Playlists

I don’t know about anyone else but I really don’t survive without music. During the summer I spend a lot of time by myself, but when school starts I am constantly surrounded by people. Music is how I push myself, how I wake up in the morning, how I keep myself up at night trying to finish the last bit of homework for tomorrow. So this playlists to survive high school.

When I wake up in the morning I listen to some good old rock. Like some classic rock, punk rock, and pop rock, to get the blood pumping, and to start off my morning.

I actually don’t have very bad time management, but if you needed to fom waking up with rock, you can then make your own playlists with a list of songs that add up to the amount of time you need to get ready.

Once school actually starts, in all honesty I’m still not awake. But that’s when the variety of genres comes into play. By the time I’m in school I start listening to more of a pop playlist. It normally boosts my mood more (well needed because school sucks.)

I am talking Algebra 2 this year, and normally I’m good at math but I’m having to focus a lot more to make sure I understand what the teacher is saying, and for that I use indie music. The indie music opens my mind, and keeps me in focus. Soft classical music like Mozart can also be good.

But when it comes to English or Honors History, you’re doing a lot of writing, and to get the creative juices going, or just to help me on the information, I listen to Beethoven. Beethoven has a very violent tone when playing, unlike Mozart, Beethoven plays with passion.

As you guys also know, I’m on the cross country team, so I normally listen to pop music or rock pop when I run. Like Hey Violet, a lot of All Time Low, and the stuff that’s on the radio.

After a long hard day, I still have Algebra 2, and Spanish homework. By now it’s about 7:30. It’s killer to have to to homework that late honestly. So for that I go back to my rock music, and I take breaks in between every page of homework, (and playing a little electric guitar because guitar homework is the most important homework, duh).

Finally, when I wash my face and brush my teeth listening to my indie tunes. To be honest I really don’t know many indie artists, but I really do like indie music, it’s closer to poetry set to music. SO I listen to it, and get those peaceful vibes, then I wake up and do it all over again.

Spotify: ispat100

Rock Playlist: I was born in the wrong generation

Pop Playlist: Pump up pop

Indie: Crisp leaves and lattes

Mozart and Beethoven artist playlists

If you enjoyed this, like, comment, and subscribe, and comment bellow if you wat to see some poetry that I wrote for kicks on Friday. Idk.

Catch ya on the flip side, good vibes=good life.

-Issie

 

 

Quote Wednesday #22

“Because I’m feeling some kind of shake without you / Uh huh I think you’re moving in too close / but I think that it’s my body wanting it the most like / uh huh I don’t kow what it is I feel / but I know it’s my emotions going in for the kill like uh huh.”

“Uh huh” by Julia Michaels

My Life Monday #9

August 8, 2017

So I endured the first two days of school last week. It was good. I saw my friends but all the people were so overwhelming. I forgot my pop socket, so I had a hard time on the first day. I was fidgeting a lot, and so I flipped my hair without even realizing it, but I needed something to distract me.

I know everything is going to be okay, but it’s hard not to be anxious when every teacher is trying their very best to intimidate. But that’s fine because I live by the fake it till you make it quote and that’s what gives me confidence. Most of my teachers seem cool, but I’m playing two sports, and showing five species of animals at 3 different county fairs. I’m also taking all advanced classes, so it’s just a lot to think about but I can handle it.

Finally lunch came. I was still pretty anxious. Victor (my best friend since 2nd grade) hugged me for like a minute straight. I’m not always a huge fan of physical contact, especially at school when my guard is completely up and I don’t talk but that hug made all the stress go away.

Guitar was okay, but being in the band room with Mrs. Cassidy as my teacher always makes me feel so much better.

The day went on, I  made it through, then I had my cross practice. Cross Country is great it’s such a small team, and a love hate relationship with running and feeling all that pain binds you together. So I always feel a lot better, when I run I’m in so much pain but I always feel so much better at the end.

This weekend I went over to my Fair Bestfriend’s house. She’s going to college. It was amazing to spend so much time with her. I just was present with her it felt amazing. I love her so much, and I’m so proud of her and I can’t wait to see her chase her dreams.

Remember, if your dreams don’t scare you, they’re not big enough. Also remember life can be very crazy and it can make you very anxious so maybe just step back, but don’t miss out on everything life has to offer just because you’re scared.

So I guess I’ll catch you on the flip side.

-Issie

Photography Friday #4

Hello people of the internet! It’s Issie. Right now I’m currently in San Diego. I’m spending some time with family. I come here every summer before I go back to school to visit my family. It’s funny, because it kind of mentally prepares me and relaxes me before school starts.

I have been dreaming of coming here this summer and training for cross country, and it’s so nice to go for a run in the morning and to not have to get up at 5:30am to go run to beat the heat where I live.

So today is San Diego day 2.

Day one recap:

I boarded the plane around 4

 

 

 

Honestly, I am so blessed, because I got to sit by myself! Although their was this nice elderly woman named Carmen who seemed like she didn’t fly much. She sat across that tiny ile way that I can barely fit through, yeah, that one on the plane. She too, also sat alone. During the entire flight we would awkwardly make eye contact and make faces to each other, because we couldn’t hear each other from so far away. She was such a nice lady.

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These mountains are a good sign the flight is almost over. Because the ocean is right over that horizon.

 

 

 

Dinner and a show. A European cookie, and water. Oh, and if you realize that that movie is Disney’s The Sword and the Stone, you are the MVP’s.

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San Diego

The airport happens to be right near the Harbor, so that’s where I happened to go to first.

 

 

The harbor is normally filled with life, with people selling their trinkets and music pouring all over the place, but this was not the case this time. Although I did find some cool things.

 

 

One of them being this epic band of teenagers! They played at a cafe, they were so good and professional, and they sang all original songs.

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Not that this is a good shot, but I thought they deserved to be in the blog, they killed it!!

Day 2:

Woke up, and I didn’t have to force myself to get out of bed to run!

It was a peaceful morning drinking my water listening to the Crisp Leaves & Lattes playlist on spotify by Kalyn Nicholson, on of my favorite YouTubers. It’s a playlist with a bunch of indie music, which sometimes I like to listen to just for the peaceful vibes. Then I got ready and got to go run by the bay. (My dream for about a half a year now was to train running on the bay/beach).

 

 

It was an overcast morning, but then the sun broke through, so I got ready to go exploring at Balboa Park.

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The science museum was packed so then I ended up going exploring/photoshoot.

 

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This gifted man is a wizard with the harmonica

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Someone was having a quinseñera, and I like taking pictures of people
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The Blessed Shot
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This is a very nice man, and he is so blessed and talented

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Then I met and sang along with this man. He’s a cover artist working on his own stuff. He’s very talented with his guitar, and I bought his cover album he recorded himself. Also he has two dogs, so gotta support that. He has an absolutely beautiful voice and amazing talent.

That’s him and his name, go find him!

I must say, Balboa park is flowing with culture, amazing people and music flowing from every corner. As well as beautiful floriculture and more.

Today was quite an adventure. I can’t wait for what else is going to happen.

I’ll talk to you guys on Monday, until then, I’ll catch you on the flip side.

-Issie

My Life Monday #3: Where I’ve Been…

May 21, 2017

Not that any of you were worried, but I clearly was gone for a week… no big deal this isn’t like a youtube video when a beauty guru is gone for awhile and then comes back saying that their life was changed. But I basically didn’t post for a whole two weeks. Heck, I posted Quote Wednesday #12 on a Thursday!

As you already know two weeks ago I went to fair, so the week after that I was catching up on homework. The week after the first of May I had no time to write posts because all weekend I was still caught up with fair, once I got home the first thing I did was sleep, then the next thing you know it’s been two weeks since I’ve posted. I have caught up on all my late work, but the reason why I didn’t post last week was because a teacher assigned a big project, and I was caught up in that.

I’m getting my blog back in order. I know I don’t have that many followers, and I don’t have many people that like my posts but this blog does mean a lot to me and I appreciate everyone that has subscribed and does like my posts.

It’s almost the end of the school year, I’m counting the days until June 1st… (11 days) But because of that I’m also going crazy getting ready for finals. In addition to that, my school gets out on a Thursday, and on Saturday I have a horse show, and on Sunday I am going into the fair with my goats for another week of good vibes and crazy. But if the week after school gets out is fair that means I have to balance studying with finals and working with my goats and horse.

It’s all good, but if I do start drifting from the blog, that’s why, but I plan to be completely consistent over the summer.

With all that said let me let you in on some of the fun stuff that has been going on the past week.

My school puts on this thing called mud volleyball. They make every class 25 minutes and we get out at noon. The teachers still try and teach us stuff although nobody is focused! The Ag department BBQ’s and it’s freaking amazing! they have several games of corn whole for anyone, and they have canopy tents for people to chill. They have grass volleyball courts but the fun part is the three side by side courts with canal water being pumped into them to make the mud. It’s a blast.

This was our team, Victor has me on his back, the other girl next to me on Adam’s back is my bestie Andrea, and Angela and Miguel are on the bottom. We were the Eliminators… and we didn’t last past the first game.

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My girl Andrea

But that’s fine because the school hired a DJ, and it was basically a big dance floor on the grass, everyone was barefoot dancing their life away. Of course I was freaking owning it because I love to dance. I was sometimes forced in the mosh pit of sorts, but I prefer dancing off to the sides sometimes with Victor because I have trained him from 6th grade how to waltz, chacha (well he already kinda knew how to do that), the swing, the twist, and a little bit of salsa. It’s so much fun doing the chacha and breaking into a twist then spinning into him and having him dip me. We’ve never really had lessons on dancing, but sometimes the middle school would have dances and we would dance together and it would look like crap but four years later to 9th grade we make a great duo.

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So I danced like a crazy person for about five hours until the day ended. JoJo played volleyball with us, he’s actually crazy good. His dad plays and coaches volleyball, he played on the JV team, but then got moved up to Varsity. He left to play video games after playing volleyball but I begged him for a picture.

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Before I left school I went to the ag building. So for the entire week before this day I had been campaigning to be my FFA’s chapter reporter, so I went to go check and see if I had got it. I didn’t get the position, but while I was heading to my dad’s truck I saw Andrea and Victor so I took a pic with some of my favorite people.

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That was a great day!

The week after that my FFA chapter was holding and award ceremony for all the kids that participate a lot. They gave out tons of scholarships, made food, and thanked everyone that had been supporting us.

I won Outstanding Freshman in Agricultural Science and Outstanding Greenhand because of all the stuff I had taken part in this year with my FFA. I also won a spot in the point award trip. They take the top 20 kids that participate in the FFA they take them on an all expense paid day trip. I think we’re going to Santa Cruz. I’m pretty stoked.

I’ve also been hanging out in the band room a lot, one of the fair’s I go to has a competition for who can write and perform the best original song, so I have been working on that as much as I can. I have to figure out the strum pattern for the song before school ends and recorded it before school ends if I want it to sound especially good, because the band teacher will let me use the box drum and record it in high quality.

In addition to all of that I’ve also been trying to train a little bit here and there. Because this week I have a cross country meeting to attend, and I must admit I am quite intimidated, so I’m trying to be as ready as I can be for next season. Although I understand I won’t be able to progressively train until summer break.

So that’s where I’ve been doing and what I’ve got going on. Please like and subscribe for more. I hope you have a good life, and comment bellow what you’re excited for in summer… or don’t, your choice.

Catch ya on the flip side!

-Issie