“Living things come from non living things, and science doesn’t have a clear answer to why this is. That’s why they call it the miracle of life. It’s a gift, what are you going to do with yours?”
-Mrs. Reid (My FFA Ag Advisor and Ag Biology teacher)
“The Little Things”
I feel genuinely happy.
It’s the little things that mean everything.
Friday night lights,
And stargazing nights.
Harry Potter books,
Trying new looks.
Kisses that taste like coffee,
With his green eyes gazing at me.
Being with the people I love.
It’s just the little things that make me happy.
Hello people of the internet. Welcome to another post where I tell you about my life, and how I’m doing. I guess I’m a basic white girl because my favorite time of year is fall, and my favorite holiday is Halloween.
I am also taking all advanced classes, running cross country, and helping out the band. I am running around doing the things that make me happy, but I haven’t been able to take anything in.
What makes me feel happy:
- Running my race, and reaching my goals, screaming for my team, and when they cheer me on too.
- Football games, taking in the friday night lights, helping and being with the band and all my friends.
- Hanging out with my boyfriend and my friends, not doing anything, just being together.
- Taking pictures
- Writing stories
I know I can’t do everything, but I just came to a realization that this is my favorite time of year and all I have done is run around from thing to thing, and I haven’t been able to do anything that makes me deeply happy but little things have.
Homework and sports get hectic, and I’m so sad that cross country is almost over. But I just need to enjoy all that’s around me. Maybe sometime I can hang with my friends, and I really need to schedule a photoshoot for fall, badly. Or even try out some new fall makeup for school.
So the reason why I’m writing this is for anyone who feels like they’re in a rut, or they haven’t been able to take anything in, and you’ve just been going about life day to day. Sometimes you need to stop and take in a big breath of that fresh fall air, and look at everything that’s around you. Do something that makes your soul happy as cheesy as it sounds. Maybe make little changes to your routine, and take time to appreciate the world around you, and how the leaves change.
Lately I’ve been feeling sad for no reason, but then I started taking in fall. I started doing the things I love this time of year. Things like watching Halloweentown and Harry Potter. Things like using my string lights, and drinking coffee. Taking time to pray more often, that sounds weird, but just taking time for my relationship with God is something very important to me, and sometimes life gets in the way.
Take time for you, take time to look at the things around you, and take time for the thing sthat are important to you.
Also, so excited for pumpkin carving, photoshoots, corn mazes, and halloween squad costumes with my boys (thinking about going as memes from 2017).
Good Vibes=Good Life
Hilmar Homecoming 2017:
I live in a great little small town, and nothing makes me feel more like a community than homecoming. We get have a rally, we get out at noon, we have a parade, and an epic game.
This years theme was agriculture. Which fits our community so well because Hilmar runs on Ag. I didn’t take part in making my classes’s sophomore float, but we did win second out of all four classes.
Homecoming started the day before. I had revived my class t-shirt, and decided to crop and bleach it. And mad the more than necessary trip to Dollar General.
What I bought/homecoming necessities:
-White acrylic paint
-Three rolls of yellow pre wrap
-Gold acrylic paint pen
-Stick on gems
(I was mainly in the craft section…)
I was all ready for homecoming. That morning when I got to school, I painted all of my friends.
Every class drug on. But in the band room, I had a line of people that came because they wanted me to paint their face.
I was so happy when the bell rang. I changed into my Cross Country shirt and rushed to find my team amongst the chaos. We walked over to the house of our team captain, grabbed a slice of pizza, then walked over to where the parade was starting. It was a great time walking with the No EXCuses banner down Landar. I saw everyone I knew and threw out candy. It’s just a nice thing to feel present and to experience it. Then I hung out in the band room until my mom picked me up. I went back home, then back to the school.
Hillmar v. Livingston. It was going to be on TV, and I was going to see my Livingston friend after a year, and win money because he was going to lose the bet we had placed on the winning team.
Livingston lost to the JV team with a shutout. I got $10 and a picture.
I spent most of the game with my boyfriend and his friends in the spirit booth, it was so much fun we watched the game, and messed around. But the best part was looking up at a full harvest moon, watching the floats pass with the band and my boyfriend. Just being present in that moment that made me completely happy surrounded by the people that lift me up.
Present, and happy in the moment, that was my fall homecoming 2017.
HELLO PEOPLE OF THE INTERNET
That was fun. Imagine me yelling. I love to yell.
Anyways… let’s get down to business. *trying so hard not to make the Disney reference*
Anxiety. We all have it. That’s what this post is about. Some have it worse than others, but it is indeed inside all of us. Mine came out of me during high school. It was bad freshman year, and it’s the reason why I never look forward to school and I need a ‘safety person’ if I’m going to be in big crowds. I start to shake, my mind starts racing, my body overreacts and I start to cry. That’s how my body reacts and when I’m alone and my body is starting to do all the signs I know I got to get away, I got to get away from people as fast as possible. Nobody can see this. This also occurs when I am under huge amounts of stress, which means I undergo this at least once a week.
Some people experience this so badly they have no more control over their body, I understand that, but I never feel it as bady as that.
When I go through this I have to be alone. I go into the band room closet, lock the door, put in my ear buds, and play my guitar. I need my time alone, and at this point my friends understand and they go through the motions with me. Because it’s okay to be alone.
I spend my time alone, but then the next day I come back to my friends. We go back to the usual hanging out at lunch. But every now and then when I don’t feel okay or I start to cry in the closet having a hug from Victor never kills. What I’m trying to say is that it’s okay be alone sometimes, but you can’t spend your entire life alone. If your friends don’t lift you up, and they don’t help you when your brain gets too out of control you might need some new people in your life. But don’t spend the rest of your life alone high school can actually be a great experience, but if you lock yourself in the closet the whole time nothing will ever be fun, and anxiety will take over your life. Don’t let it do that to you, you have a good life, so live it, and it is okay to talk to people about these things. In fact the right friends will always help you in these situations. But don’t spend all of high school mourning in a closet, and talk to someone about it hearing another voice than one that’s coming from your brain makes all the difference.
And another thing. It’s okay to feel sad for no reason. I tend to and I don’t even know why. But you can’t let any depression like that eat you up because then you can’t enjoy all the beauty that life has to offer. Personally in high school you need to find the people you love, and you need to find the thing you love. For me its Cross Country and Band… or Guitar. Cross Country is a lot of pain but it gets everything off my mind, besides our team is like family. A love hate relationship with running really bonds people together, heck, we even went out for breakfast last Friday before school. Band is also the light of my high school life. They play at the varsity football game, so we all hang out during the JV game. Mrs. Cassidy’s office is like home. We sit around watching Netflix laying out on her couch eating pizza pockets. It’s literally home. Which makes sense because Mrs. Cassidy is Band Mom as we call her. I’m not technically in band, but I’m in band as the honorary member as me and my friends call it. Band makes me feel at home and we live by our on rules, and finding a place, or even those people in your high school makes everything better, and it makes any problems fade away.
High school has so many positives although teenagers are stupid. But just like everything else in life you get out of it what you put into it, and you can make it a good experience if you choose to make it one. And step one to making it a good experience is by slaying your dragons by yourself.
High school so far: Blackout Dance, Comic Con with my friends, White Out/First Home Football Game with the band, My First 5k
Life is an amazing thing.
“Maybe it’s not my weekend, but it’s gonna be my year”
-All Time Low “Weightless”
July 2, 2017
Wooooooooooo. I don’t know. I’m just writing. This is how my mind works.
How are you? I’m doing well if you were curious. Having one of the greatest summers of my entire life.
Sorry for not posting on Friday this was my week:
Let’s start from what went down at the beginning of this week. Working out is so, so difficult right now. I am in so much pain, and working and working out twice a day is killer on me. I was alo in a little rut this week of the month, so I will hopefully be ready the next day.
Monday I was doing the best that I could, but I was also out riding my horse in the evening when it was cooler. I put on a good ride and my legs were screaming. But I think one of the best parts were I got to see one of my favorite people in the whole world. She is addicted to horse riding and I only see her once a year for fair, and it was amazing to see her.
Look, personally I am a goal oriented person and I am doing things all the time. It is so hard to be self motivated sometimes but I find that without even knowing I have to be around people that work hard and are goal oriented to and have a good energy that helps me. Most of my friends in school are honestly too young to be as self motivated as me, but they feel me with good vibes, but my older friends really push me and help me to push myself. It’s all just good vibes and it makes me happy.
We worked really hard on my horse riding skills so I could kill showmanship, and I gave it my all.
The next day was the horse show. I was up bright and early, got down to the show. My beautiful boy Halo was all ready to go. We won second in advanced, second in trail, second in equestrian, first in western pleasure, and first in horsemanship. It was amazing, I gave it my all, and I had such a good time. I was with this family that I only see once a year but all we did was lift each other up and congratulate each other, and we had an amazing time. Good vibes.
Wednesday, Thursday were surviving, but Friday. Friday I got to see somebody that I love very much. We have known each other since I was 9. She graduated this year and I absolutely love her. I slept over at her house for what was supposed to be one day, but ended up being two. We were clipping goats for fair, and I will tell you, that binds friends together. It was so amazing to be with her, and around her good energy. Her sister is also amazing and made funnel cakes. Uuuuugh so good. Because we’ve been going to fair together for years I felt comfortable with her family and their was no awkward period where you try and be on your best behavior, it was all super chill.
Nothing but good vibes and lots of goats. I can’t wait to see her at fair in a week, and again before she leaves to college.
Saturday and Sunday were spent clipping goats. My allergies were going off. But it was great being with those people and to sleep in my own bed.
So anyways that’s why I forgot to change the pictures a few days ago and yeah. Wow I’m such a good writer… and yeah. Okay I should stop while I’m ahead, catch ya on the flip side.
May 21, 2017
Not that any of you were worried, but I clearly was gone for a week… no big deal this isn’t like a youtube video when a beauty guru is gone for awhile and then comes back saying that their life was changed. But I basically didn’t post for a whole two weeks. Heck, I posted Quote Wednesday #12 on a Thursday!
As you already know two weeks ago I went to fair, so the week after that I was catching up on homework. The week after the first of May I had no time to write posts because all weekend I was still caught up with fair, once I got home the first thing I did was sleep, then the next thing you know it’s been two weeks since I’ve posted. I have caught up on all my late work, but the reason why I didn’t post last week was because a teacher assigned a big project, and I was caught up in that.
I’m getting my blog back in order. I know I don’t have that many followers, and I don’t have many people that like my posts but this blog does mean a lot to me and I appreciate everyone that has subscribed and does like my posts.
It’s almost the end of the school year, I’m counting the days until June 1st… (11 days) But because of that I’m also going crazy getting ready for finals. In addition to that, my school gets out on a Thursday, and on Saturday I have a horse show, and on Sunday I am going into the fair with my goats for another week of good vibes and crazy. But if the week after school gets out is fair that means I have to balance studying with finals and working with my goats and horse.
It’s all good, but if I do start drifting from the blog, that’s why, but I plan to be completely consistent over the summer.
With all that said let me let you in on some of the fun stuff that has been going on the past week.
My school puts on this thing called mud volleyball. They make every class 25 minutes and we get out at noon. The teachers still try and teach us stuff although nobody is focused! The Ag department BBQ’s and it’s freaking amazing! they have several games of corn whole for anyone, and they have canopy tents for people to chill. They have grass volleyball courts but the fun part is the three side by side courts with canal water being pumped into them to make the mud. It’s a blast.
This was our team, Victor has me on his back, the other girl next to me on Adam’s back is my bestie Andrea, and Angela and Miguel are on the bottom. We were the Eliminators… and we didn’t last past the first game.
But that’s fine because the school hired a DJ, and it was basically a big dance floor on the grass, everyone was barefoot dancing their life away. Of course I was freaking owning it because I love to dance. I was sometimes forced in the mosh pit of sorts, but I prefer dancing off to the sides sometimes with Victor because I have trained him from 6th grade how to waltz, chacha (well he already kinda knew how to do that), the swing, the twist, and a little bit of salsa. It’s so much fun doing the chacha and breaking into a twist then spinning into him and having him dip me. We’ve never really had lessons on dancing, but sometimes the middle school would have dances and we would dance together and it would look like crap but four years later to 9th grade we make a great duo.
So I danced like a crazy person for about five hours until the day ended. JoJo played volleyball with us, he’s actually crazy good. His dad plays and coaches volleyball, he played on the JV team, but then got moved up to Varsity. He left to play video games after playing volleyball but I begged him for a picture.
Before I left school I went to the ag building. So for the entire week before this day I had been campaigning to be my FFA’s chapter reporter, so I went to go check and see if I had got it. I didn’t get the position, but while I was heading to my dad’s truck I saw Andrea and Victor so I took a pic with some of my favorite people.
That was a great day!
The week after that my FFA chapter was holding and award ceremony for all the kids that participate a lot. They gave out tons of scholarships, made food, and thanked everyone that had been supporting us.
I won Outstanding Freshman in Agricultural Science and Outstanding Greenhand because of all the stuff I had taken part in this year with my FFA. I also won a spot in the point award trip. They take the top 20 kids that participate in the FFA they take them on an all expense paid day trip. I think we’re going to Santa Cruz. I’m pretty stoked.
I’ve also been hanging out in the band room a lot, one of the fair’s I go to has a competition for who can write and perform the best original song, so I have been working on that as much as I can. I have to figure out the strum pattern for the song before school ends and recorded it before school ends if I want it to sound especially good, because the band teacher will let me use the box drum and record it in high quality.
In addition to all of that I’ve also been trying to train a little bit here and there. Because this week I have a cross country meeting to attend, and I must admit I am quite intimidated, so I’m trying to be as ready as I can be for next season. Although I understand I won’t be able to progressively train until summer break.
So that’s where I’ve been doing and what I’ve got going on. Please like and subscribe for more. I hope you have a good life, and comment bellow what you’re excited for in summer… or don’t, your choice.
Catch ya on the flip side!
“Photography is an art of observation. It has little to do with the things you see and everything to do with he way you see them”
What up party people?
I’ve never said that before, and I doubt anyone would ever want me to say it again. Life has been pretty busy and yet so dull lately. I don’t do my daily workouts every day because livestock showing is upon us. At my school’s FFA program you can go to three fairs. I happen to be going to all three of those fairs and showing three specis of animals.
-Possibly a dairy goat
-Possibly a buck (uncastrated male goat)
If you can’t tell I am totally into the boat biz. I have three does (female goats) at my house, whom I have to breed this summer so I can have my own product of genetics to show next year. One of those does I plan to show at three fairs. I also have two wethers (castrated male goats). They are for market purposes (by the way goat meat is high in protein and super healthy). But long story short I have been showing goats for six years now, so at this point I breed my animals and do some real competitive stuff. Because I am so competitive and I want to win I put hours and hours in on these goats, and let me tell you, it gets tiring. I also have to work with my horse, which I have a lot of fun with, but it is time consuming. Finally I gave my heifer, that I plan to put into the beef bred heifer program that my FFA offers next year. With almost everything I do, I am in it to win it, and it takes time to make something worth winning, but I love to do it.
I also have been trying super hard to pull my grades up, and you guys probably know that I haven’t been that fluid with my blog posts, but that is because I have been doing so much.
I have so much I want to write about, I feel very inspired, but by the time I get to the blog on my to do list I am totally out like a light.
I try and go to school dressing somewhat fashion forward I guess you can say. I never do, but if I dress like I’m awake it forces me to stay awake sometimes.
Life is going pretty great, but if I’m being honest I still need to get myself straight with God. Just to start diving into him, if that makes any sense, a My Faith Monday is coming soon. As well as a Music Monday because The Chainsmokers just released a new album. <3.
I feel like I am starting to let myself be slightly extroverted more and more. I will never be an extroverted person, nor do I want to be, but just some of the traits that they have, are traits I want to resemble.
JoJo and I still fight all the time, but that’s just because we’re basically siblings. The other night I tried to play Pokémon Planet with him. I knew where I needed to go to get my starter pokémon, I just didn’t know how to get them, so I sat there for awhile until Joe came to the starting village to help me out, and we texted back and forth as I was training my Charizard, he was just beating the crap out of the little lvl. 4-5 pokémon arround with his lvl. 17. Eventually my computer died. Poor Fitz (the name of my computer, named after Fitz from Marvel’s Agents of Shield). I could not re charge it because I had loaned my charger to a friend, who had it over the weekend. Today is Monday, and I got it back.
Tonight I want to do some dancing, take a shower, then have an early night, because I haven’t been able to really take time to chill or do something I wanted to do, and dancing is very relaxing to me, so I’mma have fun with that.
Sorry that this post was so all over the place, but I felt it would be nice if I updated, besides, it was therapeutic for me too. Chapter I don’t know, I think five of It Girl just went up, so check that out, if you don’t remember what happened last chapter, in the search bar on the right of this post type It Girl Chapter Four, or you can just read my post called Chapter Reviews to keep up with the stories.
If you find me tolerable please like and subscribe. The subscribe/follow button is on the home page on my blog just below the section on my music, so please subscribe, and to like, the button is down below. Thanks to everyone that is supporting me, I love to write and this is what I hope to do for the rest of my life.
See you on Wednesday, catch ya on the flip side!