Photography Friday #6

Hilmar Homecoming 2017:

I live in a great little small town, and nothing makes me feel more like a community than homecoming. We get have a rally, we get out at noon, we have a parade, and an epic game.

This years theme was agriculture. Which fits our community so well because Hilmar runs on Ag. I didn’t take part in making my classes’s sophomore float, but we did win second out of all four classes.

Homecoming started the day before. I had revived my class t-shirt, and decided to crop and bleach it. And mad the more than necessary trip to Dollar General.

What I bought/homecoming necessities:

-White acrylic paint

-Three rolls of yellow pre wrap

-Gold acrylic paint pen

-Stick on gems

(I was mainly in the craft section…)

I was all ready for homecoming. That morning when I got to school, I painted all of my friends.

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Every class drug on. But in the band room, I had a line of people that came because they wanted me to paint their face.

I was so happy when the bell rang. I changed into my Cross Country shirt and rushed to find my team amongst the chaos. We walked over to the house of our team captain, grabbed a slice of pizza, then walked over to where the parade was starting. It was a great time walking with the No EXCuses banner down Landar. I saw everyone I knew and threw out candy. It’s just a nice thing to feel present and to experience it. Then I hung out in the band room until my mom picked me up. I went back home, then back to the school.

Hillmar v. Livingston. It was going to be on TV, and I was going to see my Livingston friend after a year, and win money because he was going to lose the bet we had placed on the winning team.

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Livingston lost to the JV team with a shutout. I got $10 and a picture.

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I spent most of the game with my boyfriend and his friends in the spirit booth, it was so much fun we watched the game, and messed around. But the best part was looking up at a full harvest moon, watching the floats pass with the band and my boyfriend. Just being present in that moment that made me completely happy surrounded by the people that lift me up.

Present, and happy in the moment, that was my fall homecoming 2017.

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My Life Monday #11

HELLO PEOPLE OF THE INTERNET

That was fun. Imagine me yelling. I love to yell.

Anyways… let’s get down to business. *trying so hard not to make the Disney reference*

Anxiety. We all have it. That’s what this post is about. Some have it worse than others, but it is indeed inside all of us. Mine came out of me during high school. It was bad freshman year, and it’s the reason why I never look forward to school and I need a ‘safety person’ if I’m going to be in big crowds. I start to shake, my mind starts racing, my body overreacts and I start to cry. That’s how my body reacts and when I’m alone and my body is starting to do all the signs I know I got to get away, I got to get away from people as fast as possible. Nobody can see this. This also occurs when I am under huge amounts of stress, which means I undergo this at least once a week.

Some people experience this so badly they have no more control over their body, I understand that, but I never feel it as bady as that.

When I go through this I have to be alone. I go into the band room closet, lock the door, put in my ear buds, and play my guitar. I need my time alone, and at this point my friends understand and they go through the motions with me. Because it’s okay to be alone.

I spend my time alone, but then the next day I come back to my friends. We go back to the usual hanging out at lunch. But every now and then when I don’t feel okay or I start to cry in the closet having a hug from Victor never kills. What I’m trying to say is that it’s okay be alone sometimes, but you can’t spend your entire life alone. If your friends don’t lift you up, and they don’t help you when your brain gets too out of control you might need some new people in your life. But don’t spend the rest of your life alone high school can actually be a great experience, but if you lock yourself in the closet the whole time nothing will ever be fun, and anxiety will take over your life. Don’t let it do that to you, you have a good life, so live it, and it is okay to talk to people about these things. In fact the right friends will always help you in these situations. But don’t spend all of high school mourning in a closet, and talk to someone about it hearing another voice than one that’s coming from your brain makes all the difference.

And another thing. It’s okay to feel sad for no reason. I tend to and I don’t even know why. But you can’t let any depression like that eat you up because then you can’t enjoy all the beauty that life has to offer. Personally in high school you need to find the people you love, and you need to find the thing you love. For me its Cross Country and Band… or Guitar. Cross Country is a lot of pain but it gets everything off my mind, besides our team is like family. A love hate relationship with running really bonds people together, heck, we even went out for breakfast last Friday before school. Band is also the light of my high school life. They play at the varsity football game, so we all hang out during the JV game. Mrs. Cassidy’s office is like home. We sit around watching Netflix laying out on her couch eating pizza pockets. It’s literally home. Which makes sense because Mrs. Cassidy is Band Mom as we call her. I’m not technically in band, but I’m in band as the honorary member as me and my friends call it. Band makes me feel at home and we live by our on rules, and finding a place, or even those people in your high school makes everything better, and it makes any problems fade away.

High school has so many positives although teenagers are stupid. But just like everything else in life you get out of it what you put into it, and you can make it a good experience if you choose to make it one. And step one to making it a good experience is by slaying your dragons by yourself.

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High school so far: Blackout Dance, Comic Con with my friends, White Out/First Home Football Game with the band, My First 5k

Life is an amazing thing.

-Issie

My Life Monday #10

Hello people of the internet.

You know, it’s weird when people from school say they read my blog or they actually like it, because I think so little about my writing. In all honesty I don’t think I’m that good. But some of my friends were asking if their is going to be a The Telepathy Twins chapter 12 but, no. It is a short story series, and no that I don’t have to focus on carrying that story I can come up with other things, but I’m trying not to make something fake.

So hmm cross country. Oh my gosh, it’s worth being sore every now and then because every day at practice we go swimming. It’s so hot where I live right now and I love swimming! I am one of those people that feels a connection with the water, I don’t know, I’m a mermaid so I guess it makes sense.

Oh yeah, black out dance. That was fun. Although the DJ sucked, It was great being with friends, and me being me I brought my polaroid camera with me.

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And another thing, I am obsessively watching Supernatural. I can’t really talk much because I’m supposed to be writing a 7 paragraph research essay.

So I wish you all a good life. If you find me tolerable like and subscribe for more.

Catch you on the flip side.

-Issie

 

My Life Monday #6

July 2, 2017

Wooooooooooo. I don’t know. I’m just writing. This is how my mind works.

How are you? I’m doing well if you were curious. Having one of the greatest summers of my entire life.

Sorry for not posting on Friday this was my week:

Let’s start from what went down at the beginning of this week. Working out is so, so difficult right now. I am in so much pain, and working and working out twice a day is killer on me. I was alo in a little rut this week of the month, so I will hopefully be ready the next day.

Monday I was doing the best that I could, but I was also out riding my horse in the evening when it was cooler. I put on a good ride and my legs were screaming. But I think one of the best parts were I got to see one of my favorite people in the whole world. She is addicted to horse riding and I only see her once a year for fair, and it was amazing to see her.

Look, personally I am a goal oriented person and I am doing things all the time. It is so hard to be self motivated sometimes but I find that without even knowing I have to be around people that work hard and are goal oriented to and have a good energy that helps me. Most of my friends in school are honestly too young to be as self motivated as me, but they feel me with good vibes, but my older friends really push me and help me to push myself. It’s all just good vibes and it makes me happy.

We worked really hard on my horse riding skills so I could kill showmanship, and I gave it my all.

The next day was the horse show. I was up bright and early, got down to the show. My beautiful boy Halo was all ready to go. We won second in advanced, second in trail, second in equestrian, first in western pleasure, and first in horsemanship. It was amazing, I gave it my all, and I had such a good time. I was with this family that I only see once a year but all we did was lift each other up and congratulate each other, and we had an amazing time. Good vibes.

Wednesday, Thursday were surviving, but Friday. Friday I got to see somebody that I love very much. We have known each other since I was 9. She graduated this year and I absolutely love her. I slept over at her house for what was supposed to be one day, but ended up being two. We were clipping goats for fair, and I will tell you, that binds friends together. It was so amazing to be with her, and around her good energy. Her sister is also amazing and made funnel cakes. Uuuuugh so good. Because we’ve been going to fair together for years I felt comfortable with her family and their was no awkward period where you try and be on your best behavior, it was all super chill.

Nothing but good vibes and lots of goats. I can’t wait to see her at fair in a week, and again before she leaves to college.

Saturday and Sunday were spent clipping goats. My allergies were going off. But it was great being with those people and to sleep in my own bed.

So anyways that’s why I forgot to change the pictures a few days ago and yeah. Wow I’m such a good writer… and yeah. Okay I should stop while I’m ahead, catch ya on the flip side.

-Issie

My Faith Monday #3

Hey guys, its Issie. Hope you are having a wonderful day, and I am posting just like I promised. Today’s post is a My Life Monday because God has always been something very important in my life, but it wasn’t until now I’ve been trying to deepen my relationship with Him.

Lately I’ve found myself just saying little prayers even though they don’t sound like prayers. Just these moments where I go “Oh God help me right now” it may sound sarcastic but I’m actually implying His help. With someone like me I find that to be the easiest thing to do, and I am legit so shocked when looking back and thinking that most of the time, it does work! It’s shocking what can happen when you let Him into you. It was never some big habit I had to get myself into for the type of praying I do but now it’s like second nature, if I need help I almost sarcastically say “Oh, God help me” but I mean it, and it actually works because despite how I may sound sarcastic I submerge myself in the possibility.

Sometimes if I remember, I also pray for all of my friends at night and for stuff that’s going on in my life.

I’m not perfect, and I don’t have the perfect relationship with Him, but it’s real and it’s mine, and something real is all I’ve ever wanted. For a long time it would feel like I was just wishing on a star that was just a plane, but I feel like I’m connected to Him.

Yesterday was Father’s Day, and last Father’s Day… kind of ironic but my mom and I had to get away from my dad for a bit, and it has turned a full 360. I do believe that one of the reasons for this is because of Jesus Christ.

It’s a matter of continuation, and giving your trust to something so unbelievable that it’s true. I know it’s hard, trust me I know, but with this little spark of a relationship I have with Him, I’m going to turn it into a fire.

So, hang in there everyone who doesn’t feel okay, and is depressed, and broken. This too shall pass, and it always gets better. Catch ya on the flip side!

-Issie

February 27, 2017

My Faith Monday #1

Hello everyone, I’m trying out My Faith Mondays for a chance. I think I totally have stuff to talk about. I have absolutely no clue where to start. Life has been good, but I don’t think my relationship with God has been as tight as it used to. I was seriously tossed into a hurricane last summer, and out of it all I was alone, but I figured out who I am, who I want to be, what I do and don’t like, what I believe in, and what I don’t, and so on, so fourth. One of the things I learned about myself is my top five fears.

  1. Not living
  2. Failure
  3. Being left
  4. Relationships
  5. Scorpions

So, I have randomly started being paranoid about my third worst fear, being left. I have been left by a lot of people last year, and it felt liberating, but I really cared about them. I have never had such a good set of friends until this year. Every other friend I had put me down. It hurt but I had nobody. Because of the summer I spent getting to know myself, I learned how to love myself, and adore being alone. But now that I have a good group of friends they mean so much to me. I’ve gotten close with a few of them. I’ve known my friend Victor since 2nd grade, and I actually confide in him sometimes
(surprising, because I have really bad trust issues). JoJo, now he’s my best friend. I’ve only known him this year, and to be honest I think he’s one of the best friends I’ve ever had, and as a friend I love him and all my boys to death. We have just finally started to connect without having to play truth in our conversations, we can actually talk, but like last time right when we both got to know each other, and I cared about the other person, they decided to leave. Now I am so afraid it’s going to happen.

Back to the paranoia, so now that I have a group of friends I really love I have been so worried that they’re going to leave. I know they most likely won’t but last time I loved my friends and they left. I am fine with being alone, but as I’ve said, I really care about these guys. I’ve been trying to do a short bible study on my mobile bible app, to help with my anxiety and today’s devotional brought up something so important. If I want to trust in God I have to actually let him be within me. I have to actually let my guard down. Anyone who actually knows me knows I have real trust issues, and to even let God in now that I think about it is difficult. I would be hanging out with my close friend my mind would tell me not to get to close, and not to get attached because they were all going to leave me. You’d think I’d have more faith and less fear in both my friends and my God.

I can’t believe myself. The guys and I hung out for a long time yesterday, and they put up with my annoying self, and my inability to play pool, and I still think that they don’t like me, and that they want to leave. I have that quality that sometimes annoys people, especially now that people are so sensitive.I don’t think I’d be able to handle being left again if anything did happen.

Even when I went to church the pastor was talking about telling the people you care about that you care about them. Who knows maybe this is my way of saying thank you, and I love you to my friends.

In the end I think I need to get out of my own head, and let God in, because being paranoid of  being left. I have never had such good friends that I could depend on until this year, and it means so much to me. I am grateful to be able to have them. Freaking anxiety making me get in my own head.

This might have been annoying, but I really needed to talk, thanks for reading this if you actually read it all. Please like and subscribe for more.

God be with you, have a good life, and catch ya on the flip side.

-Issie