My Life Monday #13

Hello people of the internet. Welcome to another post where I tell you about my life, and how I’m doing. I guess I’m a basic white girl because my favorite time of year is fall, and my favorite holiday is Halloween.

I am also taking all advanced classes, running cross country, and helping out the band. I am running around doing the things that make me happy, but I haven’t been able to take anything in.

What makes me feel happy:

  • Running my race, and reaching my goals, screaming for my team, and when they cheer me on too.
  • Football games, taking in the friday night lights, helping and being with the band and all my friends.
  • Hanging out with my boyfriend and my friends, not doing anything, just being together.
  • Taking pictures
  • Writing stories

I know I can’t do everything, but I just came to a realization that this is my favorite time of year and all I have done is run around from thing to thing, and I haven’t been able to do anything that makes me deeply happy but little things have.

Homework and sports get hectic, and I’m so sad that cross country is almost over. But I just need to enjoy all that’s around me. Maybe sometime I can hang with my friends, and I really need to schedule a photoshoot for fall, badly. Or even try out some new fall makeup for school.

So the reason why I’m writing this is for anyone who feels like they’re in a rut, or they haven’t been able to take anything in, and you’ve just been going about life day to day. Sometimes you need to stop and take in a big breath of that fresh fall air, and look at everything that’s around you. Do something that makes your soul happy as cheesy as it sounds. Maybe make little changes to your routine, and take time to appreciate the world around you, and how the leaves change.

Lately I’ve been feeling sad for no reason, but then I started taking in fall. I started doing the things I love this time of year. Things like watching Halloweentown and Harry Potter. Things like using my string lights, and drinking coffee. Taking time to pray more often, that sounds weird, but just taking time for my relationship with God is something very important to me, and sometimes life gets in the way.

Take time for you, take time to look at the things around you, and take time for the thing sthat are important to you.

Also, so excited for pumpkin carving, photoshoots, corn mazes, and halloween squad costumes with my boys (thinking about going as memes from 2017).

Good Vibes=Good Life

-Issie

 

My Life Monday #8

Back to school edition!

Wow back to school season… I don’t want to go. But, I start on Thursday. Yep, I’m a Sophmore now (in case you were wondering). I don’t know what I feel going into this year. I’m on the cross country team, I’m a huge member of the FFA, I have great friends, and I’m making some more and it’s not making me anxious. I’m looking forward to the dances, the cross races, the football games and the nights with my friends making me feel happy and alive. I aso may be taking some really hard advanced classes but I am taking guitar so I can finally be a part of the band family.

But at the same time, when I walked into the library to pick up my books before school I saw all the people I’ve known since pre school. It’s just weird because I felt this overwhelming feeling of being confined and being left out. Small town problem I guess. I’m also starting to get anxious a lot more in social situations and instead of having panic attacks, or other things, I have a mental breakdown and my body starts to shake and then I breakdown and cry, and I don’t cry.

But let’s be honest here, I shouldn’t be getting anxious. I finally have a great group of friends and I don’t have to go through some of the things I did last year. But the fear of the unknown is always a hard thing I guess. I’m taking almost all advanced classes, and I still don’t know anyone who’s taking them with me.

School can be a drag, but it doesn’t have to be a living hell. You should always look on the bright side. Sorry about my rant, but I figured someone else out there would feel better because of it.

In the end , school is probably going to be great and I have nothing to worry about, but yet I still worry. :p

In the end I’m going to go to school, and I could either drag myself through the entire experience, or I could choose to enjoy the entire experience and face it head on. And I chose to face anything head on that’s why this year is going to be my year.

So I’ll catch you on the flip side!

-Issie

P.S.

I changed my theme on my blog, and I will be adding some portfolio pictures as I have gotten into my photography more. Remember that if you find me tolerable, like and follow for morethe button is down bellow.

My Faith Monday #3

Hey guys, its Issie. Hope you are having a wonderful day, and I am posting just like I promised. Today’s post is a My Life Monday because God has always been something very important in my life, but it wasn’t until now I’ve been trying to deepen my relationship with Him.

Lately I’ve found myself just saying little prayers even though they don’t sound like prayers. Just these moments where I go “Oh God help me right now” it may sound sarcastic but I’m actually implying His help. With someone like me I find that to be the easiest thing to do, and I am legit so shocked when looking back and thinking that most of the time, it does work! It’s shocking what can happen when you let Him into you. It was never some big habit I had to get myself into for the type of praying I do but now it’s like second nature, if I need help I almost sarcastically say “Oh, God help me” but I mean it, and it actually works because despite how I may sound sarcastic I submerge myself in the possibility.

Sometimes if I remember, I also pray for all of my friends at night and for stuff that’s going on in my life.

I’m not perfect, and I don’t have the perfect relationship with Him, but it’s real and it’s mine, and something real is all I’ve ever wanted. For a long time it would feel like I was just wishing on a star that was just a plane, but I feel like I’m connected to Him.

Yesterday was Father’s Day, and last Father’s Day… kind of ironic but my mom and I had to get away from my dad for a bit, and it has turned a full 360. I do believe that one of the reasons for this is because of Jesus Christ.

It’s a matter of continuation, and giving your trust to something so unbelievable that it’s true. I know it’s hard, trust me I know, but with this little spark of a relationship I have with Him, I’m going to turn it into a fire.

So, hang in there everyone who doesn’t feel okay, and is depressed, and broken. This too shall pass, and it always gets better. Catch ya on the flip side!

-Issie

It Girl: Chapter Two

School ended. Sky and Annabelle didn’t meet up. Sky went home like the good girl she was. In many aspects she did the right thing. Although Annabelle was ditched, but her friends ended up picking her back up.

The next day Sky came to school and sat alone like usual. She minds most of the time, but today she had a lot of work to do, so she slipped in her earbuds playing “Victorious” by Panic! At the Disco compelling, and motivating her to be productive. People passed by her sitting alone, but she didn’t mind. She started humming along to the song, and when she suspected no one was watching she played the drums with her pencil and pen.

Annabelle watched Sky for a while, but then she found a place to sit too before school started. She was listening to some soft acoustic indie music. Surprising for a girl that looked slightly on the grunge side.

Annabelle didn’t talk to Sky for a while, because underneath her careless punk demeanor it hurt, but Annabelle needed Sky as much as Sky needed Annabelle.

The Mind of Annabelle:

Fake it all

Shake it off

Let it go

Fuck it all

The normal people scare me

Maybe when they look through they see

My heart screams instead of sings

But it’s okay, because someday I’ll be free.

Till then, listen to music so loud that I don’t feel a thing.

Annabelle lived in suburbia. One of those places where everything seems okay from the outside. Her mother died giving birth, her dad left her when she was five, and her foster parents were hard asses that only cared about their child, but adopted her anyways so that they looked good to the rest of the community.

She sometimes got abused.

But she always tried to know their was a better way, and she had hoped, just hoped that maybe, just maybe Sky might make it easier.

 

It Girl: Chapter One

 

20160930_180035
Skyler

The girl’s name was Skyler, but all of her friends called her Sky. Well, they would if she had any. Sky was a confident, beautiful, proud, and happy girl… in her head. In reality she spent most of her time in the school’s band room. It was quiet there, just like her.

Sky was a very conservative girl. She had high anxiety and almost had a panic attack every time the teacher would call on her. She loved listening to Beethoven’s symphony number four. She was also quite ingenious, she played cello, and dabbled a bit in piano. Her closest friend was the school’s band teacher Mrs. Kay. She had a wonderful voice and unlike Sky, Mrs. Kay was quite confident.

Sky was a senior in high school. High school had been the most dull and tragic years in her life to her, probably because she had never taken any risks. She had never had a boyfriend (that is perfectly okay because high school boys tend to be quite atrocious), she had never attended a school dance, or had a group of friends to go with.

“Hello I’m Annabelle” Said a strange red headed girl that approached Sky.

“Hello” Sky replied in almost a whisper tone.

“That’s a lovely piece you’re playing”said Annabelle as Sky was sitting at the piano.

“Oh, why thank you, I’m not that good” Sky replied.

“Better than anything I’ve heard, why have I never seen you around before, are you new?” asked Annabelle.

“No, I am not new”Sky replied. Thinking of a snarky remark to reply back, but thought not say it, too risky.

“Oh, well, I’m sorry if I embarrassed you” said Annabelle. Then she followed up by asking “Do you come in the band room to hide away every day?”

“I don’t know if hiding away is the exact term I would use for this situation, but if you are implying that I come here every day at lunch, yes I have for the past three years” Said Sky (one of the most insulting sentences she’s said her whole life.)

“Oh, I’m sorry, don’t you have any friends?!” Asked Annabelle.

In a depressing, slow, and silenced tone Sky replied “No.”

“Well, you do now” replied Annabelle in such a lively tone that it eluded Sky.

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Skyler and Annabelle ❤

 

January 16, 2017 8:57pm

I have to go to school tomorrow. God be with everyone that has to get on with their lives tomorrow.

I had a really good day today, my friend JoJo and I got to meet up and work out at my school. We listened to music, danced, sang, ran the bleachers on the football field. Then later we went to Subway and talked. It was cool. Especially since last week felt so constricting and conflicting, it was nice to let loose.

I am not ready to go to school tomorrow. But on the brightside I get to play piano in the band room. Ah my little piece of heaven in hell is that band room at school.

New short story coming at you tomorrow for #storimonday

Hope you have a good day tomorrow!

Remember, Good Vibes=Good Life.

Catch ya on the flip side.

-Issie

January 15, 2017 6:50pm

Hello world, hope you are having a lovely day, I did. I did absolutely nothing!

I want to talk… (if I didn’t have something I wouldn’t have a blog.) First of all, I want to talk about how beautiful the world is, despite what the human race has done to alter it, this world is quite lovely and so are you, you amazing beautiful human being. This is probably surprising to hear me say something so nice if you’re one of those people that say I should be nicer. Ha ha!

Like any other Sunday morning my family and I were going to go to church, and we did. I listened to the preacher preach, as I analyze every line of every verse he spoke looking for truth, and lucky me I found it. Ah, the word of God… so much ironic humor.

The preacher (okay, preacher is dramatic, he’s a friend of mine, and his name is Keith, and I’ve known him since I was a little kid.) Keith was talking about how as we go into this new year we make these resolutions over 50% of the time based on where other people are in life, and comparing ourselves to others. In the teenage world, we tend to do that a lot, but it even continues as an adult. As my position of observer of humanity I have found this to be true. We try to make our lives put together on a screen, but we still often compare ourselves to others, and when we aren’t like that other person we don’t consider ourselves normal. And people wonder why they feel such high stress and anxiety?

What is your point where you feel normal? Who do you compare yourself to? Who do you aspire to be?

Listening to those truths made me feel so blessed that I am not live every other American teenage girl. All they do is compare. I feel as though I am very lucky, because lot’s of people my age that I know of tear themselves apart because they’re not like everyone else. And because of that they don’t feel beautiful. Me on the other hand, I wear makeup every day, (and more that everyone else in my class) not because I’m insecure, but because it’s an art form and I love how I look with it. I pride myself on my body and my weight, and I work out not because I let the number define me, but because it’s fantastic, in fact I look forward to working out after doing my homework like it’s dessert after dinner. I hang out with guys, not because I want to date them, but because they’re so much less drama, and normally down to earth. I am sarcastic, not to be rude, but it’s just my personality. I have my headphones glued onto my ears because music makes my entire life better. I am anti social because people can be amazing and ass holes sometimes. Everyone compares themselves, but I never find myself comparing lifestyles, it may seem like I am, but I am not. I am happy where I am, with everyone in my life, and I appreciate all that God has given me. On the plus side you can use comparison of others to not make you feel bad but to drive you. I know who I am and where I am going, but it’s God’s plan for me that is going to happen in the end, and my life isn’t perfect, but that’s what makes life fun. People like mylifeaseva, IISuperwomanII, Jessie Page, my friend JoJo, my mom, my epic new songs I discovered today, they all help push me into being a better person because new years isn’t about being a new person, but it’s about learning from the lessons that the year will soon teach you, and growing with them.

I actually do have girls ask me how I’m so confident? I just fake it until I make it, and right now it feels like I’m living the good life, so how can I not be confident? I guess just embracing that I don’t want to be normal and never will be normal, and I am totally not alone gives me a sense of hope I guess.

The grass is not always greener on the other side, so plant your own seeds.

I am so blessed to be able to know that I am blessed.

I didn’t do anything today, and nothing really good happened, but I just wanted to have a good rant, and elaborate on what my friend Keith was really preaching about. I think all I did was go to church, discover new music, and watch Netflix, and on top of all of that I don’t have to go to school tomorrow… Who wouldn’t be happy?

Tomorrow, somewhat excited, I’ve been nagging JoJo to work out with me for the longest time, and he finally said he’d give it a try tomorrow. It’s gonna be a good workout… then we’ll go get some Subway. So excited it’s gonna be pretty comical. See ya tomorrow JoJo.

If you actually read all of that you are the total champions.

Good Vibes=Good Life

Catch ya on the flip side.

-Issie ❤

Good Vibes

Have you ever had just one of those weeks? Where nothing goes wrong, but memories, and past emotions just come up again to make you an entire hot mess? That was my week. I have no clue what triggered me but it did. It was so hard that I actually broke down and cried. Man, it’s hard, but you have to fight through.

I am very blessed, if you are able to read this, you are blessed, but we all have one of those days, or weeks.

The only way I get through this is with my good vibes, you try and be productive, but it’s all about not faking being happy, but actually being happy. The world, school, due dates, events, they don’t give a shit about how I’m feeling, so without being happy and feeling like you’re able to keep up, you will never keep up in this world.

The only way I keep these good vibes is by believing in God, and listening to some good, good music. Good thing I know lots of good music. Writing and working out helps too it clears the mind, and gets everything out.

It’s important to have good vibes, because if not, you would never be happy. Without happiness, you will become another generic human of this Earth. Not me, I want to be something more. It may hurt, the weight the world tries to push on you, but I don’t have to bear it alone.

I have Christ, I have a good family, and the best friends I could ever wish for. Without them, I would not be who I was,and I would not be as happy as I am now.

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GOOD VIBES=GOOD LIFE

BE HAPPY, BECAUSE THESE ARE THE NIGHTS THAT NEVER DIE

-Issie

 

January 12, 2017 8:44pm

Hello to those of you actually reading this, thank you. It’s been a long day for me.

Probably because I had a lot of homework, but what student doesn’t?

My friend JoJo (chaoswriterblog.wordpress.com)  and I were on the phone for an hour trying to strategize and figure out our Ag and geometry homework.

It’s hard, I had a few close people leave my life and stop talking to me, I think when they get brought up in conversations, or when they try and talk to me again old memories just come back like a cloud of depression sweeps my memories.

If you ever feel like that, you sure as hell aren’t alone, it’s very important to know that.

Luckily tomorrow is Friday so I have the entire weekend to recover. And another good note is I got to work out and that always clears my mind. Not to mention I learned a few new songs on piano and helped my friend find some new chords on piano for his lyrics.

Catch ya on the flip side.

-Issie