HELLO PEOPLE OF THE INTERNET
That was fun. Imagine me yelling. I love to yell.
Anyways… let’s get down to business. *trying so hard not to make the Disney reference*
Anxiety. We all have it. That’s what this post is about. Some have it worse than others, but it is indeed inside all of us. Mine came out of me during high school. It was bad freshman year, and it’s the reason why I never look forward to school and I need a ‘safety person’ if I’m going to be in big crowds. I start to shake, my mind starts racing, my body overreacts and I start to cry. That’s how my body reacts and when I’m alone and my body is starting to do all the signs I know I got to get away, I got to get away from people as fast as possible. Nobody can see this. This also occurs when I am under huge amounts of stress, which means I undergo this at least once a week.
Some people experience this so badly they have no more control over their body, I understand that, but I never feel it as bady as that.
When I go through this I have to be alone. I go into the band room closet, lock the door, put in my ear buds, and play my guitar. I need my time alone, and at this point my friends understand and they go through the motions with me. Because it’s okay to be alone.
I spend my time alone, but then the next day I come back to my friends. We go back to the usual hanging out at lunch. But every now and then when I don’t feel okay or I start to cry in the closet having a hug from Victor never kills. What I’m trying to say is that it’s okay be alone sometimes, but you can’t spend your entire life alone. If your friends don’t lift you up, and they don’t help you when your brain gets too out of control you might need some new people in your life. But don’t spend the rest of your life alone high school can actually be a great experience, but if you lock yourself in the closet the whole time nothing will ever be fun, and anxiety will take over your life. Don’t let it do that to you, you have a good life, so live it, and it is okay to talk to people about these things. In fact the right friends will always help you in these situations. But don’t spend all of high school mourning in a closet, and talk to someone about it hearing another voice than one that’s coming from your brain makes all the difference.
And another thing. It’s okay to feel sad for no reason. I tend to and I don’t even know why. But you can’t let any depression like that eat you up because then you can’t enjoy all the beauty that life has to offer. Personally in high school you need to find the people you love, and you need to find the thing you love. For me its Cross Country and Band… or Guitar. Cross Country is a lot of pain but it gets everything off my mind, besides our team is like family. A love hate relationship with running really bonds people together, heck, we even went out for breakfast last Friday before school. Band is also the light of my high school life. They play at the varsity football game, so we all hang out during the JV game. Mrs. Cassidy’s office is like home. We sit around watching Netflix laying out on her couch eating pizza pockets. It’s literally home. Which makes sense because Mrs. Cassidy is Band Mom as we call her. I’m not technically in band, but I’m in band as the honorary member as me and my friends call it. Band makes me feel at home and we live by our on rules, and finding a place, or even those people in your high school makes everything better, and it makes any problems fade away.
High school has so many positives although teenagers are stupid. But just like everything else in life you get out of it what you put into it, and you can make it a good experience if you choose to make it one. And step one to making it a good experience is by slaying your dragons by yourself.
High school so far: Blackout Dance, Comic Con with my friends, White Out/First Home Football Game with the band, My First 5k
Life is an amazing thing.