This is an ode to being alone. This is a story about a girl who loves to sit by herself. Why don’t people like this anymore? People rush around latching to attention, even if it’s from a negative place, but at least they are not alone. But why do they fear it? Do they fear themselves? I did once, I understand, but I also know nobody can put my demons in the corner but me. Every now and then they crawl back, but sometimes you need your demons to help you recognize when you need to let go of another darkness that has gradually put itself into your life.
People also have a fear of the dark. Especially when alone. The dark is nothing but another perspective of the day. Just because you don’t understand it doesn’t mean we should fear it.
Maybe that’s why people don’t like to be alone, we have a fear that we might get killed, or kidnapped by ourselves, but maybe it’s the sub-conscience thinking that they fear because they don’t understand themselves.
Humans are a weird amazing species. If you sit down alone for a second and just watch other people. That’s what I’m doing. I have friends, by reading this, you probably think I don’t, I do. I love being with them, or around them, but they know me so well they know when I want to be alone it’s just because I’m in the mood for hanging with myself because internally I’m a pretty dope person. But they also know when to not leave me alone. When my boyfriend breaks up with me, or I have family issues, or I’m stressed, or anxious about anything they know not to leave me alone because it’s hard for me to open up to people or ask them for help if I need it. But I don’t have to say a word, they know.
As much as we hate being alone, sometimes we shouldn’t. To any unspoken rule that humanity creates, there’s always a contrary situation. I love being alone, but I need my friends. That though, is what makes me human.
I raise goats (I know, that’s a huge twist in the conversation). But I can spend $300 dollars on a goat to raise to take to market. But he isn’t worth anything if he doesn’t have a friend. Goats are social animals, and if they don’t have a friend they are less likely to gain as much as they should, because they’re lonely.
That’s us. Well, makes sense, God says we’re like sheep. Sheep are stupid, so are we. We get amazingly lonely because we don’t love ourselves, and we fill lost without our shepherd, but we replace our shepherd with invalid things in our lives.
So far, we subconsciously fear ourselves and hate ourselves. Most people do. That’s another reason why we don’t like being alone, we tell ourselves we aren’t and don’t look good enough so we, therefore, seek validation through other people.
When I ran cross country I went down two shirt sizes and one pant size. But I loved myself before I started running and changed my body. God and your Mama are proud of what they gave you, why can’t we accept it. Frankly, I love myself on the outside, and on the inside. And my personality has lots of rough edges, but nobody can understand me and love me as well as God and myself does. That’s why I love spending so much time alone. Yes, I may have some problems, and panic attacks from time to time, but at least because I love myself I can tell myself what to get better on.
This is an ode to being alone, because you, and I are really cool humans. When you spend time with yourself, you realize how awesome you, the things around you, and the people around you are. This is an ode to being alone, and all it has to offer. But it’s offerings come from us, so isn’t it really an ode to me?
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